Upside Down & Topsy-Turvey
by GalaxyVisionary
Summary: Have you ever wondered what it would be like if Tohru were mean? Or if Akito were nice? What about a serious Shigure and a perverted Kagura? In this one-shot, the Fruits Basket characters swap personalities and the result could prove interesting.


**This is only a one-shot, not a full on fanfic. But I thought it would be pretty fun to attempt. *shrugs* Ah well xD**

 **I want to know if you can guess who has who's personality. I will leave the answers at the end, but I want to see if you can guess :D**

 **I hope you guys enjoy! ^_^**

* * *

 **The Aggressive Tiger & Her Shrinking Violet**

"Move. Move. Get out the way. Move it or lose it," Kisa demanded as she charged through the crowd of students. She already had a crappy morning and things were progressively getting worse. First she bumped into some idiot on the way to school and transformed. Naturally she scampered into the bushes to hide from any potential witnesses. But, someone managed to step on her tail in the process.

After the transformation fiasco, she had to deal with people that took forever to get nowhere. The slow walkers annoyed her to no end. They took all the time in the world to get from place to place. It was time that _she_ didn't have.

But people that stopped in the middle of the hallway; to her that was the _worst_ offense.

Kisa plops down at her desk and turns to Hiro. _Yikes, I hope she's not angry with me about something...I just don't understand her, or any girl really._ He shrinks back and shifts his gaze to his desk. She'd always been persistent - even a little violent - to get what she wanted. And what she wanted, was for her love to accompany her to a formal. "Hiro, you gonna come with me or what?" _Its better than some scrub. That's for sure._

Hiro winces at her brashness and keeps silent.

Kisa rolls her eyes in disgust and tries again. "You coming with me to the dance or not?!" She emphasizes this by slamming her fist into his desk. The wood creaks and splits in response. This shocks him to the point he shoots up like a firecracker and backs against the wall. He ducks his head down to avoid watching her seething. He hated confrontations and would give anything to be anywhere but here in this moment.

Having no regard for this, Kisa storms over to him, and grabs him by the shirtfront. "AS MY HUSBAND YOU OWE IT TO ME! IT'S YOUR DUTY TO ESCORT ME TO THE SCHOOL DANCE? IS THAT CLEAR?!"

Hiro nodded hurriedly, wanting to appease the tiger before she hurt him.

Kisa smirks and releases her hold on him. "Great. Oh, and be sure to get a suit this time."

* * *

 **The Bunny Bounces No More**

Momiji steps into the bathroom and faces himself in the mirror. He wasn't like he used to be; energetic, passionate, and full of life. His spirit had been broken, the day his Mom broke down. All the light has drained from his amber eyes. All that remains is a cold, blank, lifeless stare. Long ago he lost the bounce in his step, although he likes to think otherwise.

He leans forward and grips the edge of the sink, bowing his head. He feels an onset of tears, trying to break through him like a tsunami. It had been years since his Mom decided to forget him...

Why couldn't she accept him for who he was? Why did she have to reject him?

He'd watch as his sister Momo would laugh and play with their Mother. There was never a trace of sadness or regret from either of them. She'd probably left those feelings behind; right along with the memories of her only son.

It took years of practice and reminding for him to stop crying. He schooled his expressions and shut off any unbearable emotion. The pain was too great. After two years the tears stopped. But it wasn't enough...

He didn't want to show anything or _feel_ anything. After three years, the pain dulled out. He was numb. He was there, but not. He was merely a hollow shell, wading through the depths of his undeserved sorrow. If breathing weren't voluntary, he would have ceased long ago.

He releases his iron grip on the sink, and clamps his hands over his eyes. He had to stop this...if he cried, he wouldn't be able to stop.

The pent up depression and harbored anger would crush him. It was too long since the last time...and he refused to be weak. His Mom was weak. He refused to be like her. What kind of person abandons their own son...? Someone he wanted nothing to do with. Someone he _refused_ to call his Mother.

* * *

 **Kagura The Pervert**

Kagura wasn't your average, ordinary girl. Most girls her age gossiped, crushed on boys, and lamented over disbandments of boybands. Not her. She had no interest in guys her age but rather, men ten to twelve years older. Well, unless they were named Kyo and had blinding orange hair. Most girls opted for fluffy romance, she was obsessed with smut and spent lonely nights reading, and letting her fantasies go wild.

After news broke about Tohru and Kyo's relationship, it admittedly sucked. Any last opportunity she had of ever making that kitty purr was henceforth out of the question. But it didn't stave off her lust and affections for him. If anything, her feelings merely skyrocketed. It was simple really; the thrill of wanting something you can't have. Instead she opted for popping her head into the window whenever he dressed for bed. She was a feminine peeping Tom, and she had no shame in her title.

Kagura rummages through her cat backpack for her pair of binoculars. They were the ones she reserved for spying on her beloved. They were a sleek black with a cool metallic undertone. She settled in with the familiar weight of it in her hands. As she sat perched on an oak tree branch, observing him, she couldn't help but salivate at the view.

The tautness of his muscles as he lifted the shirt over his head. She couldn't help but sigh at how the sun kissed him far more than she ever did. She zoomed and leaned in further to retain the memory of his toned abs and pectorals. His biceps were sculpted like a teenage Adonis, and his calves could make Fabio jealous. Ah yes, she was not like other girls. But then, she didn't care to be.

She awaited the grand finale of him removing his trousers and slipping into sweats. She glanced behind herself, and cursed for not packing popcorn for the show. _Yes Kyo, just a little more...that's it._

She took her lip between her teeth, tightening her grip on the binoculars in anticipation. It was only moments before she would find out the truth. Whether he went for boxers, briefs, or even better; commando. She'd kept a tally of how often he wore each. He hardly owned briefs or he hated them by the looks of it. He typically opted for some plain boxers. But what he wore most? Absolutely nothing.

Before she had a chance to update her count, the tree began shaking beneath her. With an agitated sigh, she looked down to see what was interrupting her from this glorious moment. And it was Tohru, the Queen of PMS herself.

"Are you spying on my man...? Again?!"

Kagura swiveled back to check on her kitty again to be disappointed. He'd fully dressed during their brief exchange and was now climbing into bed. The boar's shoulders slumped, and she glared daggers at the Onigirl below.

"Gee, thanks. Now I missed it."

She was met with a satisfied smirk. "You're welcome."

* * *

 **Apologetic Kitten & Tohru The Tyrant**

Kyo was a very conflicted man. He believed that Tohru's beauty was more breathtaking and precious than that of Da Vinci's _Mona Lisa_. She deserved to be on display for the world to travel far and wide just to get a look at her. The demure innocence her blue eyes held, her perfectly structured nose, the pink softness to her lips that made any man ache with desire and a craving for a taste of them. But the other half of him was petrified of the girl. When she breaks plates and snaps wooden spoons in half while cooking, it was obviously a cry for anger management. But he wouldn't dare suggest such an offensive yet plausible idea. Oh no, not unless he wanted to wind up like the shattered china that littered the floor every night. But even in spite of her fits and spontaneous raging, he found her irresistible. Maybe her kinder and gentler side made him want to stick around. Or the fact that he was her polar opposite in every way. Either way, he loved her, even though she was the girl of his dreams as well as his nightmares.

Kyo was lazing around the house on a rainy afternoon. The ceiling pattered with the lulling drops of water, the sound of it waterfalling over the roof's edge was both soothing and exciting. As he flipped through a Wonder Woman comic, averting his eyes from her cleavage, a loud crash erupted from the kitchen. The magazine slipped out of his hands and slapped against the floor face down, hiding Diana Prince's busts from view. Kyo sat up on his knees and peered over the couch. There she was, his Mona Lisa and his Nightmare. She'd just shattered a ceramic mixing bowl and her face was quickly becoming a darker shade of red the longer she stared at the shards.

"You idiot! Come help me clean this up! Do I look like your maid or something?!"

Kyo sprung from his seat and approached the crime scene like a guilty toddler; his head ducked down and his hands clasped behind his back. "I'm...I'M SO SORRY TOHRU! I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE HELPED YOU OR AT LEAST CLEANED IT UP QUICKER. OH NO! NOW YOU MAY GET HURT. PLEASE FORGIVE ME TOHRU AND FORGIVE ME WORLD!"

"Oh shut up," Tohru snapped, reaching for the dustpan and broom. Somewhere in the middle of his apology, he was dashing around the room in a frenzy, and screaming bloody murder. _This_ was his usual idea of an apology.

* * *

 **Studious Shigure & Ayame The Monster**

"Get to writing!" Ayame snarled, cracking a whip for emphasis. Shigure sat in his study, looking to be the epitome of focused. His glasses slid to the bridge of his nose, a pencil was tucked behind his ear, and his hands were poised over the keyboard. He had a serious case of writer's block and was struggling with the climax of his story. But the sound of a whip snapping, seemed to be _just_ the cure he needed.

Shigure's hands flew over the keyboard, typing at a speed his mind could barely keep up with. Ever since he set aside his childish ways and buckled down, he'd become a best selling author of romance novels. Right now, he was working on a pivotal point in the story.

 _His eyes dared me to give him what he wanted as I draped myself over him. I knew how badly he craved me...how much he desired to give me his heart along with his last piece of innocence. It was a leap that I dared him to take with the promise of catching him should he fall. Before I knew it, we both were wanting the same thing. Each other...I wanted to sample the ecstasy of that kind of intimacy. The one only he deserved to share with me. Not like the jerks that came before him, both literally and figuratively._

Ayame slammed his hand onto the keyboard, and narrowed his eyes. "What kind of crap is that? Start again! And this time, keep your own feelings out of it!"

Shigure heaved a sigh and hit the backspace key. A small pain gripped his heart as the words disappeared before him. He was writing about his relationship with Akito, but apparently it wasn't up to Ayame's sky high standards. If the story didn't end in heartache, pain, death, or something miserable; he simply wasn't satisfied. Last week he showed his opinion by knocking Shigure upside the head. The week before, it was by locking him up in the study for two full days. Over and over until he finally completed a dignified piece. Well, one that seemed to curb Ayame's temper long enough.

Surprisingly, with all these setbacks, he still went on to be a well respected author. He inspired many for his great gift, without attending a university to hone it. Shigure took a sip from his glass of red wine before starting again. _It turned out that he was nothing like the other men, he was far worse. I thought I knew the pain of my heart shattering and the grief left in it's wake. But now, those experiences paled in comparison to how i felt now. He took me and spent me, leaving me empty and poor. He crushed me and utterly destroyed me from the inside out. All those meaningless 'I love you's' and caresses that seemed so heartfelt, were nothing. We were nothing...I was nothing._

Ayame clapped the mutt on the shoulder, his lips still twisted in a grimace. "Now that's better...proceed."

* * *

 **Akito The Sweetheart And Her Steed**

Akito sat cross-legged in front of Rin's knees as she brushed Akito's hair. After revealing that she was a woman to the family, Rin was the first to show her support. It would pain her to think of Akito being rejected and cast aside because she lied about her gender. Rin felt the most bound and attached to the head of the family, and was always first to show her love and respect. Not only did she respect her, but she admired her. Akito was gorgeous and it seemed a shame that she kept that beauty concealed for so long. The loose kimonos and robes that hid her figure, the boyish haircuts, and the cologne she often wore.

But now, her master was free, and she couldn't be happier.

"Thank you Rin...but it really isn't necessary. Do you think I can actually look beautiful?" She squeaked, insecurity creeping into her inquiry.

Rin smiled softly in answer, although Akito couldn't see it. Rin gathered two strands of her hair and pinned a satin blue bow in the middle, securing them in place. "With a little bit of lipstick and mascara, you'll look like a total babe. But even au naturel, you're absolutely beautiful."

The flustered head, blushed as she stuttered out her denials. But it was to be expected, Akito never did have much confidence in her own abilities. She never saw herself to be worth anything or useful in anyway. But Rin knew it wasn't true. She was like a sister, and she couldn't bare Akito's lowly thoughts towards her own worth.

With a peck on the forehead, Rin said, "You are worth more than you'll ever know...you're the most kind and special creatures the world will ever have the pleasure of knowing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

* * *

 **Confident Ritsu's Harem**

Ladies pawed at his chest and dangled peeled bananas over his mouth. Ritsu jumped up to bite off a chunk and sighed with pleasure. "You women sure know how to make a man feel special. I don't know how I could _ever_ repay you!"

A short but bold woman fed him another. "That isn't necessary...being in your presence is enough."

Ritsu guffawed between mouthfuls of the sweet fruit. "How true! I am the most beautiful and loved in all of Japan. Oh I'm being too modest again aren't I? I'm the most beautiful man in all of the world! I merely wanted a taste of humbleness, my therapist recommended it."

The girls around him erupted in laughter. "Oh _Ritsu_ ," the short woman purred, climbing into his lap. "You say the most hilarious things."

* * *

 **Yuki The Heartbreaker**

 **"** Yuki baby? Please stay," girl number fifteen called for him, trying to yank him back. Yuki was notorious for his hard heart and his cold facade. Even an iceberg shivered and withered away at one look from him. The prince was known around the school for stringing girls along, then tossing them aside like unwanted leftovers. No matter how great the rack, how curvaceous the girl, or how beautiful her eyes were; nobody held his attention for long. The dilemma? Everyone wanted it.

With people, their reasons varied. He was far from poor, and his fat pockets were a gold-digging pantydropper in itself. He came from a long line of the wealthy and successful. He never went without company or food a day in his life.

Then there was his good looks. From his velvety purple hair to his mysterious violet eyes, he was a total catch. Not only was he known as the Prince, but he was also unanimously declared the Swoon King. One wink of acknowledgement and it was an instant K.O.

Now a girl was clinging to his wrist, begging him to take her to bed. He merely stared at her indifferently, no telling emotions bleeding through his practiced facade. The girl before him was honestly beautiful. She had long black hair, a tiny waist, and a startlingly big chest. She was pretty much the female version of Yuki, so his obvious resistance only served to baffle her. Why wouldn't he want her? She was a knockout.

Yuki slipped out of her hold and folded his arms in indignation. "I've grown bored of you. I believe it's time for you to go."

The girl couldn't help but feel enraged at his dismissal. Who was he to reject her like that? She too was well off and gorgeous. Where was the problem?

He started for the door and held it open for her to step through. "Leave." He gritted out, politely as he could manage. His patience had nearly waned entirely at this point. He found it pathetic at the way girls always grovelled after him like dogs for a bone. Couldn't they just take the hint and leave him be? They should have been privy and well acquainted with his intentions by now. He would makeout with the girl in exchange for something below the belt, but never much farther than that. He didn't commit and he didn't care. Who cared when he had all the yen in the world and fine women to blow it on?

The girl sprung to her feet and slowly shuffled her bare feet across the floor. She acted as if she were giving him time to change his mind. A swivel of her hips enticed him to rethink it. His answer was to look away and wedge the door open further. And with a final huff of acceptance, she stormed out.

* * *

 **Throw Caution To The Wind**

Kureno twisted the handles of his Harley, the growl of the engine igniting a fire within him. The thrill of his souped up ride, never died. Every time he ran his hand along it's familiar grooves and slipped on his helmet, the flame was lit, and he was complete.

In the past, he was incredibly loyal to Akito. Not that he hated her, he just wasn't a big fan of authority or rules. The unruly rooster had to get his fix of trouble every day, or he was left feeling unsatisfied. That's what he was and the life he lived as a troublemaker. It not only excited him but was complete lady bait. Chicks dig bad boys and he was no exception.

Kureno started on the dusty path towards his favorite bar, _Junishi Spirits_ , a place where he could drink himself into a coma if he wanted and not concern himself with the bill. He supposed there were _some_ perks with coming from a rich family, even though most of it just sucked.

He smirks as a cop appears in his side mirror. The sirens blaring and lights flashing simply urged him forward. Faster and faster he went, his speedometer climbing rapidly to keep up with the rooster daredevil. He almost laughed at how fortunate he was that he now had two cops chasing him. It was funny, he thought the fun wouldn't start until he got to the bar and started a fight. This, was a lot more exciting.

With a grin, he popped a wheelie, and tore down the street at insane speed. His heart thrumming, the engine drowning out the sound of it. _If only Arisa could see me now. She'd kill to be out on the road again. Too bad she was already serving time, picking up trash off the highway._

* * *

 **Giddy Cow & His Euphoric Trip**

"Tralalala!" Haru skipped about, plucking as many flowers as he could carry from a field. His skips were like earthquakes, from his sudden weight moving from place to place. Haru ducked down and scooped up enough for two bouquets. "Let's see...I have daisies, lilies, roses - ow! I forgot to watch the thorns - _and_ chrysanthemums," he squealed with delight. "I bet Rin will _love_ it!"

Spinning on his heel like a ballerina, he beamed at the cloudy sky, thrusting the flowers into the air. Without plucking a single petal, he proclaimed, "She loves me! She loves me not...she loves me!" And with that he pranced off into the sunset, his bi-colored locks glinting in the dying light.

The End

* * *

 **I hope you guys enjoyed this crazy one-shot. It may never happen again. At least, not with me lol**

 **Alright, here's a list of who swapped with who:**

SHIGURE IS STUDIOUS AND SCHOLARLY (YUKI)

AYAME IS STRICT (AKITO)

TOHRU IS MEAN (KYO)

YUKI IS A JERK (HIRO)

AKITO IS KIND (TOHRU)

HARU IS INCREDIBLY EXPRESSIVE AND ENERGETIC (MOMIJI)

MOMIJI IS SOLEMN/EMOTIONLESS (HARU)

RITSU IS CONFIDENT (AYAME)

HIRO IS SHY AND PASSIVE (KISA)

KISA IS BOLD AND PUSHY (KAGURA)

KAGURA IS PEVERTED (SHIGURE)

KYO IS CLUMSY AND APOLOGETIC (RITSU)

RIN IS LOYAL AND OBEDIENT (KURENO)

KURENO IS UNRULY AND WILD (RIN)

 **I hope I portrayed them properly! Thanks for reading! Baiiii :3**


End file.
